Good Thing I Called

Maybe I should have regarded the name as a warning:

When I called United Air Lines today, ten days before my flight that I booked in February, to make sure my frequent flyer miles are being justly credited, there was a moment's confusion while they reminded me that my return flight had been rerouted and I would need to make sure my issuer, the aforementioned

had informed me of the same and had issued the changed tickets.  Needless to say, I had not heard a thing from

So I called my friends at COA, and they routed me efficiently to the applicable public service office, which was not, I'm pretty sure, located anywhere near My Home Town If You Know What I Mean, where one of their efficient agents spent about 20 minutes on the computer/phone issuing me an email that verified that I was now not only scheduled on the rerouted flight but also had a ticket and corresponding right, I hope, actually to board the aircraft.

Woh.

Only imagining now what might have happened in Terminal Whatever of Chicago O'Hare when I had landed after 13-some-odd hours of cattle-class flight (albeit on Japan Air Lines which, in my imagination, pours each contented customer hot green tea from a porcelain pot into a porcelain cup atop a silk napkin) only to find that I was not authorized to fly any further because you-know-who hadn't bothered to notify me, you know, IN ADVANCE that my previously ticketed flight wasn't going to be, uh, taking off on that or any other day.

When CheapOAir gets its own airline.  Flight attendant and Keith Richards look-alike Amber Michelle Gorish offers passengers the refreshment/meal choice of Water or, uh, Not Water

Happily, I DID call United and the nice person there DID happily mention the flight change and suggested, in response to my cry of astonishment, that I contact my friends at COA and straighten it all out with them.  Thank you United.

These are the JAL Flight Attendants assigned to me.

Japan Air Lines, of course, isn't changing anything.  I already know what that flight's going to be like anyway.  I already told you about the tea and porcelain and silk.  I should also mention that, at least on the plane, Japanese babies don't cry or spit up or soil their diapers.  The children are respectful at all times and the 5-year-old behind me will not spend the entire 14-hour flight (headwinds on the way over) kicking the back of my seat.  I think the only difference between first class and the moo section is that in first class the sushi chefs are all members of the samurai class and the geisha are all from the Gion Kobu district in Kyoto.

Typical JAL in-flight activities, except I think I might be the only passenger on the plane.

Yes, that's going to be one dreamy flight.  Thank you JAL.